Desire is the sin

Hello

2008-10-10T14:54:00.003+08:00

old Honey,
You know what, yesterday, one of my foreign teachers, who's a very old man, granpa of 9 kids,gave me a compliment,a very very big one. So,I'm happy, and keep smiling. If you could see me now, you would see a face like this,^口^……

Brave man

2008-09-30T01:48:00.000+08:00

He's a brave adventurer in the nature, yes,supertramp, but a coward in the human society, either. He has met so many good guys during his journey, why he's still scared by the relationship of people?

Is he crazy or just naive? Is he footloose or actually intense? Is he an extremist or draft dodger?

I've no idea, I just feel pathetic of his parents, and the helpless Alex in his terminal. "Into the wild"isn't anything that anyone can get through.

Vacation

2008-09-29T19:38:00.004+08:00

7-day National vacation's finally come. Most of the guys on my msn disappeared, except for my previous colleagues, who are still "fighting"in the front line for some so called exclusive news(actually, most of that is just routine news),as what I did in the past 4 years. I understand how torturing that is!! In a matter of fact,their tragedy makes me feel better, I'll never regret giving up that job again. Hmm, why am I so mean? Haha.

I stayed at home all day and watched "Ugly Betty"，enjoy the magic things happening to her, sad about the disasters she always faces,of cause, she always fixes them too.Thus, happiness just comes.

This vacation is nothing for me, because I'm on a long vacation and I don't know how long it's gonna be, as long as I want it to be, I think. At present, for the lazy Renee, work's gonna scary, whoops, can you believe this words coming out from a former workaholic?

Sometimes, I find myself can be happy, as long as I'm not so single-minded to my true feeling, that's not pretending too,it's just, you know, a shallow happiness, but it's still happiness right?

Real

2008-09-26T23:57:00.002+08:00

I came back to the training center yesterday,finally. After 2 weeks travelling and 1 week staying at home, I felt the life's a little bit fresh.

The two gate ways underground were blocked, I had to change my old way to get into the center. What's more, only 3 weeks, some teachers have left, some new teachers have come. We have another David now, this new David is an old grandpa of 8 children. It's really easy for Foreigners to find a job in China if you speak a non-Chinese language!!

It's very very hard to put something new into this post.Because for less than 1 hour I breathed the air of the real world, everything had been gone back to their original position. Nothing's gonna happen.

Seems a little depressed again. Cheer up, at least, yesterday,in the hot-pot restaurant, when I was asked by the waitor to raffle, I won a prize of a plate of Chinese cabbage!! haha,lucky me, as lucky as the value of cabbage!

Damned homework

2008-09-22T13:42:00.007+08:00

Wish my English teacher won't freak out. I believe the training center didn't make much ado to design the questions of our homework, but me, the stupid one, gave the random questions such long long answer. haha, take your time, my dear teacher!!

Homework
1,Read a mystery book or watch a mystery movie. Report on it in the following manner.

I watched "I know who killed me", because I heard this movie got 8 Golden Razzi Awards, and I'm curious how terrible it is. And now, I'm so tired and sleepy and have to write down a lot of bullshit!!

(1)Summarize it in about three sentences

Aubrey Fleming, a bright and promising girl disappeared one night after another girl in her university had been found dead. 18 days later, Aubrey was found without one arm and one leg in a remote place by a driver passing by. But when she woke up from a coma in the hospital, she claimed she was not Aubrey but Dakota, a stripper in a night club, FBI began to investigate.

(2)provide a step-by-step analysis of how you solved the mystery or how the story unraveled.

The first picture is that Aubrey dressed in red was dancing in a night club, all of a sudden, her hand was blooding.

Then, Aubrey wearing glasses was reading her novel in in front of her classmates. After that, she was practicing piano but she told the teacher she would quit piano and want to concentrate on her writing. Several days later, a missing girl in Aubrey's university was found dead.

One night, after a crazy celebration of National Collegiate Athletic Association Football game, Aubrey was missing with her car stopped on the street. In a dark place, a man dressed in blue and in blue gloves tortured her very cruelly, cutting her fingers and leg. At the same time, the FBI began to investigate.

18 days after, Aubrey was found in a remote place by a driver passing by, alive, but injured very badly. After an emergent surgery, Aubrey survived. The FBI was analyzing the case and found this case was different with the previous cases in some details, such as the victim was still alive, and they wondered whether the killer let her go or she escaped from the cruel killer. And the doctor found that Aubrey's fingers had been put back once to her hand after cut, but there was no reason for the killer to do that. The weirdest thing was that when Aubrey woke up from a coma, she told everybody that she was not Aubrey, but Dakota, and she was not the good student in university but a stripper in a night club. Her mother was a junky and died from OD 6 months ago.

The shrink(psychiatrist) talked to Aubrey and showed her the other victims' pictures, they had the same injury, and the shrink hoped Aubrey could cooperate with FBI and tell the truth. But Aubrey still didn't admit she was Aubrey and said she didn't know how she got cut. She told the FBI that when she was dancing one night, her hand began to blood without any reason, and she saw a man in blue gloves very faintly. The FBI and the psychiatrist thought Aubrey was lying and had immense illusion or imagination.

When Dakota came back home with Aubrey's parents from hospital, her body began to blood without reason in several cases again, such as when she dreamed that a man was cutting her and her arm began to blood in the reality. One day, Dakota recalled to Aubrey's boyfriend how she got cut, she said the first time the strange thing happened was her finger began to break when she was having a shower, and then one night when she was dancing, her finger cut all of a sudden and leg began to break too. She put her finger back to her hand and enswathed by herself and then took a bus back home, but after she got off the bus, she couldn't remember anything. And the boy believed a bit and decided to help her find the truth.

Then, the FBI and Dakota found the novel written by Aubrey in her computer's hard drive. The character of this novel was Dakota Moss, who was looking for her another half, her identical twin. According to this novel, the FBI thought Aubrey was living in the world made up by herself. But Dakota realized what could have happened. Dakota checked online and found that there was some strange telepathy between identical twins can explain her strange bleeding wounds. She asked Aubrey's mother whether she had a twin sister, but the mother showed her the video of ultrasonography and there was definitely only one baby, but she also said she almost lost Aubrey because she fell down one time before the baby was due. So Dakota turned to Aubrey's father and asked what on earth happened when Aubrey was born. Finally, the father confessed that the baby was dead after Aubrey's mother fell down and passed out, in order to make her wife happier, Aubrey's dad bought one of twin girl babies from a single mother in the hospital, and hid the truth all the time.

The truth was open, every time when Aubrey was cut by that cruel killer, the same thing happened to Dakota too. And Dakota felt that Aubrey was still alive but very weak and will die soon, she went to look for her. she got the tomb where Aubrey was buried alive by the killer, and found the killer left a silk belt with a name on it. It turned out the piano teacher who was the killer. And there was a fight, Dakota used her fake mental hand killed the killer and she dug the tomb and found Aubrey. That's all.

(3)Briefly summarize the main characters and their motives in the story.
Aubrey: a bright girl in Yale university who's talented both in playing piano and writing, but disappeared one day. The story was unfolded through looking for her and the things happened to her.

Dakota, a stripper, who was recognized as Aubrey by everybody, and experience the injury as Aubrey, turned out in the end, is Aubrey's twin sister, but was separated when they were born.

killer, used to be Aubrey's piano teacher. but I don't know what's his motive. because he thought Aubrey should have continue piano but she quit? How can we explain why he killed other victims.

Aubrey's parents, her father bought her as a substitute when their own baby died, and hid the truth from her mother.

13 Days Qingdao

2008-09-19T14:42:00.011+08:00

13 Days Hangzhou

2008-09-19T14:42:00.004+08:00

Am I cursed?

2008-09-10T08:17:00.002+08:00

This travel hasn't fulfilled its goal. I wanted to pursue some lost happiness but found it's not available.

Beijing kept raining or cloudy,which made me much moodier.I never kept a rainyBeijing in my mind, that's not the "common" Beijing. Blue sky, dry air, that's typical. Everything's changed. Marriage, divorce, baby, betray, love,we experienced various lives.

Ten years have huge power. "Never grow old" is just a fairy tale. I walked in the Nanluogu lane one day, felt very tired and realized at once, nothing's gotta be like before. Admit it.

I lost my mobile phone, again, in the cinema. It's really not a happy journey.

Elopement

2008-08-30T20:45:00.004+08:00

She never married. He had a daughter named after her, Jane. His daughter became Jane. Her eyes showed complicated emotion, from which, everyone can tell that love still stayed in 20 years ago.

Without the happy ending of Pride and prejudice, Jane didn't lead a life as she described in her novels. Even though she'd been brave and tried, several times.

Affection is desirable, only. Money is indispensable,absolutely. Is this what she wanted to tell us the most?

Who said we can't live in lie? We, humanbeing are goot at it, I mean, cheating, cheating yourself and the person who matters you. Who isn't?

Cheer cheer up

2008-08-29T23:49:00.003+08:00

Old me:

David, my favorite American teacher, talked about "lexical approach to second language teaching" today. I found it very useful. I'm gonna put this theory into practice both in learning English and teaching Chinese as a foreign language in the future.

That's today's little achievement. Do you remember this?

Maybe you don't. But you haven't forgotten David, have you? He's such an interesting teacher with a very interesting forehead!

Ps: Today, I can pronunce "r" and "rr" all of a sudden. Mama, Spanish kills me .

Beautiful

2008-08-29T22:35:00.003+08:00

Sounds like a bud blossoming from the tip of your tongue. French, I enjoy it.

No news

2008-08-28T22:36:00.006+08:00

Old cute lady Renee:

Fortunately, today, I've spent smoothly again. Nothing special happened. You see, such a normal day actually is a textbook of our life.

I haven't gone to the training center for almost 2 weeks, so I find my English 2-step back. Yes, I measured it with my brain. And my tutor told me that my study is seriously behind the schedule, I should have finished at least 15 salon classes and 8 private classes, but in fact, I've only finished 6 salon classes and 7 private classes. Guess why?I'm really not a good student, even though when I was in class recently, I always read the novel "Long-legs-daddy" instead and wish I could be that sunny as Judy, the foundling. I'm daydreaming again!

I'm a little bit exciting these days for the coming travel. By September 8th, our dormmates will have known each other for 10 years, and I will go back to Beijing first for the gathering. Then, I'll wander around in some other cities where I haven't been before, alone, I must emphasize.

Do you believe in fate at your present time? I really do at my present time. A fortune teller once told me that I am a traveller of the world, can you tell me is that true? Sometimes, I always think something big is gonna happen to me this year, an eventful year, isn't it?

Now, I'm listening to some French songs such as Mademoiselle sung by Berry, and my ears enjoy it! ^^

Yes

2008-08-28T00:41:00.003+08:00

Dear old me:

The guy on IMVU taught me two things:
1/Age is just a number.
2/Carpe diem.

Drum-like belly

2008-08-27T19:25:00.005+08:00

I laid in the small bed of the beauty salon on this tiring summer afternoon, and the beautician made me totally relaxed and comfortable, I almost fell into sleep.

But, then,there was a very weird sound coming from some place.Ok, and I found it from my belly, and then I heard the second one, later, the third one, and fourth, fifth……and that sound didn't show any will to leave. By the way, if I have to describe what the sound's like, just imagine a strong wind wants to find a way out from a bellows.

Fine, what the hell is that? Did I do something wrong to you my belly? Are you not satisfied with the delicious food I feed you everyday? Why did you do that in public to embarrass me, especially in a very quiet place that everyone can hear a needle dropping on the floor.

So, as a punishment, tomorrow, I won't let you eat anything. I'm gonna carry out a hunger strike to torture you!!

Still learning

2008-08-24T15:26:00.007+08:00

Old ME:

You know what, today, I finally started my Spanish learning,formally, I mean.

It's very interesting. I want to tell you that I've learned 1-10, they are "udo, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, séis, siete, ocho, nueve, dieze". I can pronunce most of them correctly but also find "tres" and "cuatro" are a little bit hard to fight with.

The "r" thing, you know, kinda like antient Spanish people created the language during they were spitting to each other or they were imitating Tarzan to shout at the sky, that's why their tongues and vocal cords can shiver like that.

But there's an easier thing, the 5 vowel "a e i o u" pronunce the same at anytime, so that I can speak out when I see the words.

Besides, I have learnt that with the accent put in different places, "papa" can mean both "dad" and "potato".How fun it is!

Oops, the worst thing I had always worried about happened, when I saw the English words spelled with "r", my brain would be messed up at least for 30 seconds, and my tongue couldn't find its direction too.

What a dillema!

So, old Renee, could you tell me, when you were 35, can you speak Spanish proficiently? If so, I will work harder with hope!!

Irony

2008-08-24T14:42:00.000+08:00

Never work, hah？How does it feel?oh,yes,yes,you can't tell common people's hardship and happeiness, you can't see the world in our eyes, you can't talk to us or have dinner with us or sleep with us. You said your dad is loaded and you are lonely. So you said, “I wanna be common people , I wanna live like common people, I wanna do what common people do, I wanna sleep with common people like sb. ” Oh, really? you really think so?

It's ironic, I wish I could be like you. I wish I did't need to work all my life. I wish I could live like a socialite.

Well, obviously, You drive me nuts.

My feet hurt

2008-08-17T13:00:00.002+08:00

My shoes hate my feet. they want them to die. Now, I can't walk like a human being.

Should I beat my shoes or just stink them with my feet by not taking shower for 3 days?

Formal or not

2008-08-13T18:01:00.002+08:00

Old me from the future:

For the speech contest, my tutor asked me to dress formally.

I don't have any formal dress, I don't like it. But for this informal contest, I still bought one skirt and one blouse today, black and white respectively.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, guess what, I saw a very professional waitress with the smile of "Employee of this month".

I can do that right? But I made the decision, never dress like that on the stage.

They live with hope or pain

2008-08-04T00:31:00.001+08:00

Just because they still believe in the "love" thing.

Homework

2008-06-04T01:00:00.000+08:00

Homework Assignments
1/Ask students to use conditionals to speculate and write on what they will do next weekend and far into the future. They should write at least 3 for each.
1)what I will do next weekend
(1) If it is sunny next weekend, I will go to Macao to visit my friend. But if I'm not so lucky, I will have to stay in Guangzhou.
Unless it is sunny next weekend, I won't go to Macao to visit my friend.
(2) If the HR manager can manage next Saturday for the interview, I will have time to see him. But I guess there's little possibility because they never work on the weekend.
(3)If I watch this movie next weekend, I can't get a 50% discount ticket because the membership card of this cinema just works(takes effect) on Wednesday.
(4)If I do shopping next weekend, I can buy something at a good price, because many things are going to be on special at that time.
(5)I won't go to the fitness club next weekend unless my friend is willing to go with me.
(6)If there isn't anything interesting, I won't attend the party next weekend, I would rather stay at home.

2)What I will do far into the future
(1)If I can learn English more proficiently, I might find a better job.
(2)If I can't find a new job in 3 months, I will spend all the money I have saved.
(3)If I agree to accept this job, I might get a big break in my career.
(4)If I want to do something international, I can try to apply for a job in some international NGO.
(5)If I can't get a high score in IELTS(International English language testing system),I will lose my qualification to apply for the study in Hongkong university.
(6)If I can get a PH.D degree in Hongkong university, I might come back and teach in college.

2/Have students write down things they didn't do, but wish they had- and to give reasons. Each student should write at least 5 things.
(1)I wish I had sold out all my funds last year. If I had, I would not have lost so much money.
(2)I wish I had pulled out my wisdom teeth as the dentist told me. I would not have suffered from the pain if I had.
(3)The day I handed in my resignation was the day before the earthquake, I always wonder if I hadn't quit my job, what might have happened to me, I would have gone to Sichuan to do something meaningful.
(4)I wish I had registered as a volunteer of the Beijing Olympics, if I had, I might get (have gotten)the chance to watch the Olympic opening and closing ceremonies at the scene.
(5)If I had stayed in Beijing after my graduation, I might not have broken up with my ex-boyfriend.
(6)I wish I had studied harder in university, if I had , I could have gotten more scholarship.
(7)I wish I had not cut my hair last month, if I hadn’t，it would have been long enough to do the hairstyle as I like.
(8)I wish I had applied for that scholarship, if I had, I would have studied abroad as an exchange student.
(9)I wish I had had enough money at that time, if I had, I would have studied photography earlier.
(10)I wish I had had an extra 1 week in the schedule for emergencies, if I had, I would not have got such a bad result.

Vulnerable city

2008-03-06T00:42:00.002+08:00

This is a vulnerable city.Many things became paralysed because of a heavy rain.

I stood under the roof for nearly 1 hour,waiting for the bus of our housing estate.A long queue lined up in front of the plaza's door and aroused many people's curiosity.We waited as usual,but the bus didn't arrive until 22:05 behind the usual schedul,and there came just one bus!

Everyone rushed into the bus to find a shelter,I didn't have an umbrella so that I couldn't even get to the bus,if I did,I would be wringing. The bus was crowded as a sardine can,I had to wait for the next one.

More than 20 munites later,the other bus came finally,the bus driver told us that many streets had been flooded,and they had been caught in a heavy traffic jam."Kangcheng has been a water city!."

Some people began to scold our mayor. So what? The whole big city is a failure! Can we rebuild another one?

important decision

2008-02-06T00:20:00.000+08:00

'The most important decision in my life.' Well,that's the topic of tomorrow's presentation.

I come to Web almost everyday, for I'm taking a long vacation now,and I don't know how long it will last.Because 3 weeks ago, I quit my job as a journalist which I had done for 4 years. Till now,I still don't know whether my decision is right or wrong,but one thing I can make sure is that it's very important,for my life will be changed because of this big decision.

There's no doubt that this job gave me a lot.It helped me know better about the society,get more new information from the authorities,deal with all kinds of people and also promote my learning ability. Besides, I did a good job.

In spite of all these glamour of this occupation,I'm not willing to continue. In a matter of fact,it's hard to find some specific reasons to explain this decision.I just want to say that I like changes. Life is so short,I'd like to make it more colorful,why don't we do something just as what we want to?

I'm unemployed now and some changes have been taking place in my daily life. First,and the most important thing is that I have no income anymore. I can't do shopping as I did in past time,the first thing I do is to look at the price tag when I step into a shop,what a pity,and sometimes I just even can do the window-shopping. But on the other hand, my life becomes more simple and peaceful,I don't need to concern about the things which are none of my business,I can turn off my cell phone whenever I want, I can regard each day as a holiday,and I can have a good sleep everyday.

Of course,I feel confused sometimes,especially when I am reading the newspaper or watching TV news. I would have done the same things if I hadn't quit my job. The day I handed in my resignation was the day before the earthquake.I always think that if I had been stuck to my position,I would have gone to Sichuan and done something meaningful.

Well,stop imagining, I must look forward to my future. I don't have specific plans but only some unclear directions.I want to do something international,such as international communication,cultural exchanges or something,that's why I came to study here. Whatever this decision will bring about to me, a big lesson or a big break,I have to accept them.Unemployment is a kind of experience of life too, what I need to do now is just waiting for a better future.

War and peace

2008-01-19T20:17:00.002+08:00

I didn't like war stories all the time until "Saving Private Ryan" and "Band of Brothers" showed up.Because they told me the truth about the war,I think.

I wonder what they thought when the sodiers first stepped on the war fields.I'm sure scare was one of the feelings, no matter it had been revealed or not——It's the human nature. Eventhough they were thrown into the unawared fearful place,they took their time to work up the courage and bravery unless they might only be waiting for death. Maybe they thought nothing but to do well in the mission and could be alive even healthy if they were lucky enough.

Blood, bullets, wound,broken legs or arms, hurt, all of these are common in a war but a big deal to any individual. They might lose their right to live as ordinary people, their family might lose a son. It's a disaster to anyone.

A soldier, who at first a human being,no matter he's ours or the enemies, is only a chessman who toes the line from his superior. Maybe in the peaceful time,some German soldiers can be good friends with the American's, they may share the same interst or hobbies,and they all have warm families where mothers are waiting for their boys back home.But on the battle field they have to kill each other. What a cruelty it is!

I don't know how they could get rid of the memory about the scene after war,maybe they couldn't and wouldn't at all. If one person escaped from the death and scare, he would know more about the value of peace than anyone else. Heard that some of the survivors lived a good life after all, I feel so comfortable for them. They are the heros who struggled the good lives for us all,thank you.

The below words are the classical lines from Band of Brothers when the surrendered German General spoke to their soldiers.
Men,it's been a long war,it's been a tough war. You have fought bravely,proudly,for your country. You are a special group. Who have found in one another a bond. That exists only in combat. Among brothers of shared foxholes,held each others in dire moments. Who've seen death and suffered together. I have proud to have served with each and every one of you. You deserve long and happy lives of peace.

Good or not so good

2008-01-17T20:16:00.000+08:00

A French buddy on the IMVU sorely recommended this movie to me——"I am legend."

Since I like Will Smith,I think maybe it's truly wonderful. Neville is a persevering and brilliant scientist, who's the only survivor in a man-made biochemical crisis that every other human being had died or mutated into carnivorous beings. Being immune, Neville persists in seeking the methods to cure the victims and tries to stop the disaster,and his only accompanist is the dog.

Evething seems fruitless, he fails again and again in his lab. At last, he has no choice but to perish together with the mutated beings who try to assualt him and destroy the whole world.

The story is simple and not so cliff-hanging as "The Bourne Ultimatum", and I like "Pursuit of happiness" starred by Will Smith better actually.

Cheer up

2008-01-17T16:15:00.000+08:00

Some friends online said to me ,"Hope you can overcome your anger and be happier in the new year." Hearing this, I realized that I'd changed a lot. I used to be easy-going,peaceful and lazy,but now I am bad-tempered and haggle over every ounce and the worst thing is I'm lazier than ever.

Such a damn. I hate that.

Dying

2008-01-16T14:14:00.000+08:00

I wrote 4 reports today till almost 22:00. After finished, I thought I'm dying.

So hungry. And everytime when I am too hungry,I always go to the same place "xiao fei yang".Why?

I have the strong feeling that I can't do this job well forever. I can't do anything well. I'm too lazy and have the bad habits and character,all these factors make me like this now.

I saw the report on Yahoo,many message were from somebody who spoke on condition of anonymity.But why do our leaders always say what's the resourse's name and post? Yes,I know,I know that we must be in line with the law of journalism——we are seeking for the truth,and we must be of justice and authority.

Damned job,and damned me.

Something

2008-01-14T20:13:00.000+08:00

There are something, that if I do, I will wrong myself;if I don't do,I will wrong you.

I don't want to wrong myself, but I can't wrong you guys too.

I always think, if I was cruelhearted enough, I will do anything I want without considering the feelings of others,and insist on concluding everything quickly,I won't flounder so much.

Maybe,to leave is a better way to reduce pains. It includes death.Yes,death.

Busy

2008-01-14T16:20:00.002+08:00

A little busyness that I can stand.

Older and older, I get exausted much easier. Can I study again? I always ask myself, am I diligent enough? Am I smart enough? Am I self-confident enough? NO. The answer's always "no".

Does this answer indicate that you don't have the ability and courage to finish the study abroad? I don't know, I'm tired of the present life, I hope a new one.

Change

2008-01-14T16:10:00.000+08:00

The products from dangdang were sent to me this afternoon.7 books,including "A Book Devoted To My Daughter "by WangShuo,"A Story Of LALA's Promotion", "China Backpack","A Manual For Bodies",and the series of "Ghost Blows Out the Light".

Yes,I love books.But I'm afraid that I don't know how to read until now.Maybe Chinese students are good at reciting and repeating but can not use well what we learnt.

It's enough.I can't let my children encounter what I have experienced again.I hope he or she can be happy,in a good society and system.

Hi renee

2008-01-14T15:08:00.000+08:00

It's your last chance to change your fate.If you want to live your dreaming life,please,hold on.

I know you can.Cheer up.